I can't sleep again.

I really need a night job like bad. Everyone I know is asleep except for me. I feel like I am stuck in a limbo. When is my life going to take it's next positive turn. I really need to stay positive but lately thats been kind of hard. There really is no one that can compare to you at least nobody I have met. Well how you use to be at least. I remember how surprised I was when I actually started to believe this was all real. I never expected to be in love again. And then I pretty much fucked it up just as bad as the first time. It's so strange that I push away the one thing I want more then anything else in the world.

I have been thinking about alot of stuff lately. Like why people are the way they or why they act or say certain things. Its interesting when you think about the source of what you hear and see instead of simply react to how you normally would. It makes me alot more understanding of people because everyone is just the product of something else. lknfdsjnfsdljasd. I think about so much I wish I could just get it all out into this blog. I probally get about 5 percent of what I think about into this blog wich isn't bad maybe I will let more and more out with time who knows ? "_"