Wow

So alot has happened. I got arrested yesterday...never stealing anything again but that doesn't mean I don't have to go to court wich I do. It seems like everyone in the world all decides to turn there back on me all at once. I lost my girlfriend. I have gone through alot of girlfriends in my short time on this planet but she really made me feel like what we had was real and I never had to worry about losing her. Then I lost her. At first I was mad about it and didn't say anything. Stuidest thing I could have ever done. Maybe if I would have said something she wouldn't have left me. But my stubborness once again puts me in pain. I hate who I am. I am going to join job Corps. Which means I am moving away. Maybe if I get a fresh start where nobody knows me I will be more welcomed. Cause so far in the town I was born I am just shunned into depression. And no one should have to live like this. I have to try and live off of 25 dollars a week. Thats what my mom thinks I deserve. I am the biggest loser. Funny thing is a month ago I wouldn't have thought that. Because no matter what happened to me I had the love of someone who was ten hundred times better then me. Theres been so many times lately where I am driving home alone...and I just wanted to let go of the steering wheel floor it and see where I land. That would be funny. I hate sympathy but it seems like I cling to since its the only type of affection I can really get.